My toys vs Now toys

As my trips to toy stores increase as required by raising kids and making them happy, I can't help but wax nostalgic about my childhood and the stuff I played with. Looking back, though, and comparing the playthings of old and the now, I notice that while there have been great advances in toy tech, those 'relics' of the past seem to have made more sense.  Let me show you...

MY TOY - toy cars

As far as toy cars go, there were only three brands that mattered to me: Matchbox, Corgi and Tonka. Common denominator? They were made of steel, making them last for ages and withstand the usual wear and tear of playtime. Some of mine are still lying around the house (waiting to be completely obliterated by the next generation).

Matchbox had hundreds of models to collect, and most had hooks in the back (seen in the picture at the left) so you could tow other cars...at least that's what I thought it was for.

While Matchbox was famous for their variety of car models (and hooks), Corgi had the license to make those cool cars we saw on TV and movies - such as the Batmobile and James Bond's Aston Martin, complete with working ejection seat to get rid of bad guys, and even a little plastic bad guy to eject.

The King of toy vehicles was Tonka.  Also made of steel and very durable, these trucks could carry the weight of a full-grown 6 year-old.  Which, looking back, wasn't that impressive since the kid was just scrawny old me, but take my word for it.






NOW TOY - Speed Stacks
Whoever came up with this is a marketing genius, for he made an absolutely inane activity glamorous and expensive.  I mean, really, don't children do that to empty milk cartons or bottles or whatever's on hand when they play? How can those plastic tumblers cost so much?  What's next, a televised tournament for the fastest person to screw open a jar of mayo? Sheesh.




MY TOY - action figures
Well, there's G.I. Joe (pre-Cobra Commander models) with Kung-Fu grip, and a 6-million dollar man figure with a bionic eye you could peer through (which admittedly, was useless but a nice touch).








NOW TOY - Baby Alive
Cute and all, but why would you buy a toy that craps?








MY TOY - Japanese Robots
Ah yes, Japan's gift to the world is the Super Robot cartoons and their toys. Aside from having steel parts, they usually 'transform' (that franchise wasn't born at that time) from a vehicle/s to a humanoid robot.

My all-time favorites were Daimos, who turned into a truck;  and of course, Voltes V, which let you connect five space ships into one big laser-sword wielding beast fighter killer (whew)!






NOW TOY - Play-Doh
Don't even attempt to duplicate the nice clay spaghetti on the box, it's simply impossible; the only sure thing you'll be making is a mess.  And after a few days in your kids' hands, all those vibrant colors turn grey.

MY TOY - Evel Knievel stunt cycle

For those not born in the 70's, Evel Knievel was the quintessential Daredevil on a motorcycle who used to jump over buses and even the Grand Canyon on his rocket cycle.  Of course, with the job came the number of broken bones rivaling Jackie Chan's.  You just had to put the toy cycle on the red gyro thingy, wind it up, then watch little Evel do wheelies and jump over ramps (homemade, of course).  An added plus of the gyro wheel is it's also like you're going fishing while watching a stunt show.

NOW TOY - Tickle me, Elmo.

5-seconds after turning on the toy: "Aww, what an adorable giggle."

10-seconds: "Oh, how cute.  He rolls around while laughing."

15-seconds: "Ok, baby. Can you turn Elmo off for a while? Daddy's got to work."

20-seconds: "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT ELMO UP??!!"

Elmo: "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......."

MY TOY - Game and Watch

A compact video game and clock that fit in your pocket. Though the "watch" feature was largely ignored, everyone played Manhole, Octopus, Chef and all the other titles for hours on end.

NOW TOY - The Nintendo Wii

Granted, it's a peek at the games of the future, but not a single person has been injured by a Game and Watch.  And the Wii also has an 'L.L.F.' feature for those who play it (Look Like a Fool).







Merry Christmas, everyone!