Sharks Inc.

This "cyclops shark" was captured in the Sea of Cortez, Mexico:

Unfortunately, the fetus was already dead by the time it was removed from its bull shark mother.  As such, its closest living relative was immediately notified:

Why you should love mom and dad

One of the commandments says you should "honor thy father and mother".  Yes, the uncool old guys that embarrass you in front of your friends, the mom who makes you stand in the corner, the dad who breaks wind when you pull his finger...you owe them big time.  Here's why:
  
1.  No matter what you looked like as a baby, they still found you cute.      

Let's face it, not all babies are born beautiful.  Some, in fact, look like bats. 

"Mommy!"

That said, whether you looked like an angel fallen from heaven or the spawn of Satan as a baby, your parents thought you were the most beautiful thing on earth.  They appreciated you and loved you no matter how you looked, tail and all.
                 
2.  They never failed to wake up when you cried in the middle of the night.

"I'm hungry, may I have some milk?" or "I seem to have soiled my pants. A change of diaper, please" to a baby all translates to "Waaaahhhhh!!!!" at three in the morning.  Mommy or Daddy (mostly mommy) then had to come out of REM stage to put you back to sleep again.  You can actually tell if a couple has a newborn when both of them have eye bags.

3.  They touched, smelled, and even tasted your body waste.

I mean, really.  If this doesn't merit even an ounce of respect from you, then your last name must be Lecter.  You subjected your parents to your three P's (Pee, Poop and Pfffft) and sometimes in public.  In the pic above, baby is all smiles while mom hides her revulsion off-camera. Eew.

4.  They allowed themselves to be manipulated by your tears.

Children have a secret weapon they use on their parents to get what they want - crying (the other one, which works particularly well on grandparents, is being cute).  They see mom and dad come a-runnin' when tears start to fall, so, armed with their ability to cry at will, they always get that new toy or piece of candy.  Smart parents eventually catch on to this, and learn to distinguish real tears from those made by their little crocodile.

5. They didn't buy the stuff they wanted so they could buy the stuff YOU wanted.

Your parents sacrificed owning a new dress or cellphone to get you the latest (and most expensive) toy for your birthday, which you then proceeded to destroy after only a few minutes.  Tsk.Tsk.

6.  And the most important reason - they kept you alive.
You've heard stories about parents drowning their children, leaving them inside a parked car, or just recently, cooked in a microwave oven - lucky you.  Plus,  food, clothing, shelter, medication and education, in other words, raising you to hopefully become a decent human being, cost your parents a fortune. 

Repay them by...
...well, becoming decent human beings.  Study hard, get a job, stay away from drugs and don't get (or get someone)pregnant out of wedlock. Give them something to brag about to their friends during high school reunions and make them feel that all their sacrifice was worth it.

And accept the fact that as your mom and dad grow older, it will be your turn to take care of them.

Best of all, give them grandchildren (that hopefully don't look like bats...though it's fine with them).

Quitters never win...except in this case.

It's been more than a month since I had a real cigarette.  

Believe me, all smokers want to quit but quit quitting at the onset of withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms, for those unfamiliar, are your body's way of reminding you that it's time to smoke, and it will not stop nagging you until you light up.  Remember the uneasy, something's-missing feeling you have if you step out of the house without brushing your teeth? Pretty similar to what you go through the first few weeks of quitting, but a lot more intense.

Another reason it's so hard to give up is because smoking makes you feel good, period...and when you quit, you take away that endorphin rush.  Smoking makes you smell like hell, though, and that is the main reason for my wanting to kick the habit - not the health benefits nor the wrinkle-free skin...but the stink from my breath, on my fingers and on my clothes.

As is the case with most smokers, I made quitting my New Year's resolution, and I told my daughter about it. Predictably, and again like most smokers, I never pushed through with my promise.  But the defining moment came a few days into 2011 when said daughter told me as I was enjoying my after-dinner puffs: "Dad, I thought you were going to stop smoking."  

So that was it.  I took the plunge because I didn't want my children to think of their father as one who does not keep his promises.  So come on, withdrawal symptoms, let's dance.

There's a nifty device called the e-cigarette that can help quitters.  I started by alternating the e-cig with the real thing until I weaned myself from the foul-smelling variety.  After e-smoking full-time for about two weeks, I have reached the point where I just take the occasional puff at night, and eventually, I shall also do away with it entirely when the cravings stop (and they will). 

  

More effective than chewing gum

I didn't write this to promote the e-cigarette or extol the benefits of kicking the habit.  My point is, the only thing that can make a parent go through hell and high water (and withdrawal symptoms) is his kids. Thanks for saving my life, Camy. 

Daddy doodle

Sofie, my 5-year old daughter (and future wife of Justin Bieber) drew a picture of me. Cute.

Then it dawned on me.  In my daughter's eyes, I look like '9' from the Tim Burton movie.

Acrophobia be damned!

Being one of those people who get dizzy just by looking down a balcony, you can imagine how hellish it is for me  to go on a theme park ride (See Coasters from hell).  My personal rule is to go on the ride once, just to experience it, then enough.

Of course, when you're taking your youngest daughter on her first trip to Enchanted Kingdom, sacrifices have to be made.

The closest the Philippines' has in terms of a world-class theme park is Enchanted Kingdom.  It is not Disneyland nor Universal Studios, but it is well-maintained, safe and yeah, fun.
So there I was, family in tow, walking through these already familiar surroundings, when we suddenly spot a tall structure in the distance - a new ride, and a dangerous-looking one at that.  The wife and kids rush to check it out.  I follow with trepidation.

The ride is called EKstreme, but should be renamed "Hot Potato", 'cause after being lifted up to about five stories, the ride drops you at Mach 1 (or so it felt).  Remember the movie scenes where the actor's face is contorted and his skin gets all wrinkly when travelling at extreme speed?  You'll feel exactly the same thing...but in your buttcheeks.

After having my small and large intestines exchange places, it was off to the cutesy roller coaster for the young one....my kind of ride.

Wifey and the eldest went on Anchors away, another gut-wrenching affair that I passed up on.












It's been three years since I rode Space Shuttle Max...and maybe three more before I think of getting on it again.

So I ended up in the relaxing (if you don't look down) Wheel of Fate, or from the really long queue, Wheel of Wait.

And just when I thought I was safe from thrill rides, my wifey insisted that we all have our last go on Log Jam - a river roller coaster, complete with two scary drops and the added bonus of you getting wet. Note my trying-to-smile-to-mask-the-fear expression.

Two plunges into the abyss, a slew of expletives and a sopping wet shirt later, it was time to go.   I was tired and still shaking at the knee from all those vertigo-inducing rides, and was not planning on returning to Enchanted Kingdom for a long time.  But when I looked behind me and saw the expression on the faces of my three girls...

...aw, what the heck.  We're coming back for another session at EKstreme.  Acrophobia be damned!