Dogs with no girlfriends.

Presenting the finalists of the recently-concluded 'World's Ugliest Dog Contest', with the winner being the brown one with the nasty underbite above.

So what's the point of putting these pics up? Just the mysterious fact that in photo montages of this sort, there will always be one or more pictures that look like someone you know.

Coasters from Hell

Nothing ups the pucker factor (and i'm not talking about your lips) more than riding a roller coaster. Unfortunately, I'm one of the few who are terrified to ride one, but still do. In fact, even on a Ferris Wheel I still have to have something to hold on to. The big, swinging boat thingy and the log rides you find in parks? Been there, done that, almost peed in my pants.

Not to say I'm a complete wuss; I've had my share of so-called thrills from several coasters. Particularly:



The first inverted roller coaster in the Philippines (we're talking Stone-Age here), The Star Flyer in Star City,







The 20-second long Space Shuttle in Enchanted Kingdom in Laguna, Philippines,








The Dragon in Ocean Park, Hongkong, and...









...the disc-slipping Space Mountain in HongKong Disneyland.




By today's standards, those rides are for the, as Po says, 'Level zero' thrillseekers. Yet, I was scared to death riding them. And I notice that everytime I go on thrill rides, I never scream. Ain't it a bit un-macho to be going :"Waaaaaaaaah!!!" on the final drop (and damn those park-installed cameras that record the moment). So what I do is I disguise the scream by incorporating a curse word in it. For example: "Sh***********t!". That way, I can still let the tension out and not seem like a wimp...clever, huh?

Anyway, I came upon this article on the top roller coasters in the world. So, it got me to thinking: "What would be an appropriate thing to say (scream) while riding them?" Here's what I came up with:


Dodonpa Fuji-Q Highland, Japan:
"Banzaaaaaaaaaaaaaii!!!"






Duelling Dragons - Universal's Islands of Adventure, U.S.A.:
"My coooooins!!!"








Six Flags Magic Mountain, U.S.A.:
"My croooooootch!"







Colossus, Thorpe Park, England:

"What in Bloody Heeeelll!!!"








X2 Six Flags Magic Mountain, U.S.A.:
"That cloud formation looks just like my doooooooooooog!!!"





Steel Dragon 2000, Nagashima Spa Land, Japan:
**Nippongo for "Nobody told me anything about a laaaaaake (splash)!!!"






And this last one? Pretty straightforward, I think...

Wicked Twister, Cedar Point, U.S.A.:
"Put*ng-ina, mamamatay na akoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"





(translation: "(insert expletive),I'm going to diiieeeee!!!")

Size Matters

Unless the scientists above are 3-inches tall, those are damn big squid.

For some reason, I'm quite fascinated with giant cephalopods because they remind me of the sea monsters that you read about as a kid - '20,000 leagues under the sea' by Jules Verne, to be more specific:
In recent years, it made an appearance in the film "Pirates of the Carribean" in the form of a Kraken:

And of course, it's one of the main characters in an immensely popular cartoon:

But wait! If there are Collosal Squids, there must be other ginormous sea creatures, right? Yup, there are, to name a few:

Sizable Sea Turtles!

Considerable Catfish!

Super-sized Stingrays!

Titanic Tilapia!

Big....er, whatever this is.

On the other side of the spectrum, all the rage nowadays are micro-piglets. Yes, genetically-engineered porcines that fit in a teacup which are kept as pets by the rich and famous.

They're cute, smarter than dogs, and when they die, instant lechon-on-a-stick.